Those who go before us

griefgrievingandranting

It’s been years since my kids died. I have reached a point of peace, and for that I am grateful. It certainly wasn’t always this way. I didn’t always feel OK. I have spent years feeling sad, depressed, shocked, confused, and cheated. Mostly cheated.

This is Shawndra’s senior year. She should be getting ready for college. She should be dating. She should be varsity this year. She should be driving her sisters to school. She should be thinking about Homecoming. Should should should should should. . .

This is Strider’s 3rd grade year. He should be learning about multiplication and division. He should be learning about Stellar Nuclear Synthesis and rocks. He should be playing soccer and baseball. He should be driving all his sisters crazy. Should should should should. . .

This is not their path. I miss them. I miss the idea of them. I miss their futures…

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